I don't think that's what Benito is saying. My reading is that he's talking about distraction in the sense that you avoid the discomfort and the pain and think that GAL is going to get rid of it. GAL is there to get you on the path of self-confidence and self-worth. It is one of the ingredients in the recipe for letting go and detachment.
I believe his point is that you have to lean in into your pain. Yes, that will involve thinking about your W, but your focus shouldn't be on dwelling on her. Instead you need to seek out the areas you believe you fell short in the MR and work on that. So, leaning into the pain is about processing and understanding it.
I don't think feeling happy is living in denial. I think living in denial is saying that the pain doesn't exist and that there is no grief. We can't live completely happy or sad. We live in a balance of those emotions. When the happy and joyful moments outbalance the negative emotions, then you're reaching equilibrium. You won't be able to completely let go of the negative emotions and that's okay.
You don't have to summon tears. Let them come. If you lean into your pain, you will have the tears and the emotional fatigue that comes with it. The key is not to live in it, but process it and know that it's there. It is to recognize it when it comes and knowing that you can manage it. It will slowly ebb away, trust me.
So, don't stop GAL and all of that. They're not distractions as long as you are also leaning into the pain of all of this.
Denial is saying you're okay. You are most definitely not. But instead of trying to overcome, first just accept it. And tell yourself that you're not going to be okay for a while, and continue your progress on GAL, detachment, and dropping the rope.
Letting go isn't stopping to think of W. Letting go is about you not holding any responsibility for her path and actions.
I think being melancholic is fine. It's a stage. Also remember that your heart will take longer to catch up to your mind.
