My birthday came and went today with NOTHING, no acknowledgment whatsoever..I don't know why I was expecting anything except that she has been an integral part of this celebration for 12 years..Isn't it just human decency to at least send a Happy Bday emoji or something to someone that dedicated 1/2 of their adult life to them??
Cory, have you read NMMNG? Do you know what a "covert contract" is? "A covert contract is an unwritten agreement that you believe you have with your spouse, friend or a coworker; the only issue is that the other person has no idea that a contract is in place." Your contract is that she did X, Y and Z for 12 years and thus owed it to you this time as well. So now you're angry that she violated a contract that she knows nothing about because it is completely in your head. Ask yourself if your expectations were reasonable given your current marital status.
Here's the thing, your W is no longer responsible for your happiness. That responsibility falls squarely on YOUR shoulders. So do stuff that makes you happy and quit worrying about what she is going to do, or not do.
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I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that this isn't a nightmare and my life has been completely turned upside-down and for what reason...Why is this happening??There must be a reason for all of this anguish, torment, and pain..There has to be a REASON!!
Hey, I hear you. We all go through that phase. But there is no reason any more than there is a reason a small child dies of cancer. Things happen that are beyond our control, the measure of who we are is not that we prevent those things from happening (because we can't), but rather it is how we react to them when they do happen.
