The holiday went as planned, as you stated a fun family holiday with no romance, R talk or pressure.I know W enjoyed it very much although it was strange playing happy families while still being officially separated.
First, it's great that you were able to do this without putting pressure on her, well done. Second, YOU DON'T KNOW that she enjoyed it very much, or at all. WAS's are brilliant at "acting as if" while still being very done and ready to move on. It's REALLY easy for a LBS to get the wrong impression from this and think the WAS has changed their mind, and that results in temp checking which is usually a big setback. So don't watch her and try to read what she's thinking/ feeling, she WILL notice and that will feel like pressure to her. Remember this is a marathon, and that progress is all about baby steps. So celebrate the baby steps (such as the hug) internally but keep moving forward with your DB'ing.
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She has voiced concern about me leaving the home earlier than expected last week to see a friend and calling in half an hour later than expected last night. This seems very strange and controlling for a W who apparently does not want to be with me.
It's not strange at all, when a LBS GAL's it's pretty common for the WAS to start asking questions. Again, don't misinterpret this. It doesn't mean she wants to get back together, she's just curious.
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I am resuming my detached position
So I think you may misunderstand detachment, because you also said this a few weeks ago:
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I have pulled back probably ten times in the last few weeks
Detachment isn't something you do now and then with pursuit in between. You don't turn it on and off. You either are detached, or you are not. I don't think you are yet, so that's something you definitely should work on.
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I need to move back to the family home whether she agrees to it or not. However I am not sure how to bring this up with her as I would prefer to do it with her blessing than without.
It's been 6 months since you moved out? Do you have a L? This would be something to discuss with them, there may be legal implications since you voluntarily moved out and it's been so long. It's going to affect that conversation with your W. If you find out it's legal, then just sit down with her and tell her you are moving back in and when. Expect her to throw a tantrum, just tell her it's not a negotiation, you are just letting her know. If it's not legal, well that convo will be much different, you're stuck having to ask her permission to move back in and you are at her mercy as to whether she allows it or not.
