KML, Davide, and HelenaJ, thanks so much. I'm considering everything you all wrote. The math doesn't totally work out. Ideally I'd put my daughter in school for six hours and then a nanny would pick her up and bring her home to play with her until whenever I get home. The school charges a dollar per minute when you're late and there's a high chance of being late on any given day so a nanny would be much better, but then the total cost of school plus nanny would be over $2,500 per month which offsets a lot of the full-time income. We do need health insurance one way or another but the current insurance we have isn't that great when you're out-of-state, which we are, so we probably need to switch anyway. We're not in a position to be uninsured - there've been times in the past when I've paid $1,000 per month out-of-pocket for individual insurance just to avoid the risk of being uninsured. There are options for health insurance with or without a full-time position but it's expensive either way.
I'm not offering any special emotional support but I also don't want my husband to commit suicide so I'm being as nice as possible. Today my husband called and it was clear he's affected by the situation. He could barely talk and was choking up. He said he's looking for any job and he'll still find a way to pay our expenses although I'm not sure if that's the case.
There's a lot I wish to say to my husband to help him navigate his next steps but sadly I can't say anything. I have to just protect my daughter and myself while my husband figures out his own path.
This would be a good time for my husband to move to the state where we currently live but he said he already started applying for jobs here in the past month and hasn't heard back on anything yet. I find that hard to believe considering physicians usually get jobs easily, but perhaps he'll search more extensively now.
I guess at the end-of-the-day this is all my fault for marrying someone from overseas and sponsoring him to come here. There's just too much risk. I was in my 20's and didn't really care at the time. I figured at minimum I was helping a good person to escape a war and at best we'd have a wonderful life together each helping each other to fulfill our dreams. We were so close to that happening. It's too bad my husband chose a path that not only destroyed our lives (my daughter and I) but now his own life is destroyed as well.
I just wish there was someone who could explain everything and say "I've seen this happen and here's what the outcome will be." I believe the most likely outcome is my husband will continue to make these mistakes and I'll raise my daughter alone, struggling financially as I start over, and maybe if I'm really lucky I'll meet someone new in ten years. I wish, however, there's that small chance that my husband will realize what he's done and work to fix it. The best chance for that would have been this weekend, as he absorbs the news that he's been fired, but even when he was upset on the phone today there was still no apology or mention of wanting to fix everything.
