I do not know what financial commitments you have given her, but IMO you are trying to use the finances to pursue her more. Let me ask you again:
How long do you intend to keep paying her bills? Her food? Her medical bills? At what point does that stop?
IMO it stops now. Whether you give her 50% of the money or not... you need to stop making plans with her. This is pursuing. If you want to give her 50%, simply take the other 50% out and don't close the account. She can decide to do what she wants.
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I also don't know the current balance of W's credit card or private checking account, but i think it's not that much. Should I make that a condition of what I do with the joint accounts?
She has stated she wants out. Please respect that. That means that the balance of her credit card is none of your business, unless you are a cosigner or it otherwise affects your credit. In that case you do what is needed to shut it down. If this is solely her account, simply forget about it.
Also, what and how you split at D is not something you want to dwell on yet. Talk to a L first, and definitely do not give her money now, because you expect she will get it later at D.
