I feel better when I give W the benefit of the doubt like that, but usually I am just fooling myself and feel worse later after an accumulation of evidence that confirms my worst initial suspicions. I guess best is to let go of it and make choices for myself. Hard for me to do.
As hard as it may seem to do, you need to do it. I've been in the same situation many times before. We want to believe what we want to believe despite our gut feelings telling us something is off. Don't do it anymore. Trust your instincts. Giving her the benefit of the doubt is your NGS kicking in. The only people you need to worry about at this point are you and your S. As far as your 3 options listed above, #3 shouldn't even be on the table. Close that joint accounts and imo what you do with the money depends on how it got there in the first place. If you were the one making all of the deposits and she wasn't putting anything in, I'd take it all. If you were both contributing to it, I'd split it...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
