Hi everyone - thanks for your replies. It makes me feel supported, knowing there are others that hear exactly the same script.
To answer some of the questions. At GAL, I'm doing great. - Part time, fitness, hiking, cooking, swimming, more time with the kids, increased my social circle, catching up with family- all good things to take my mind off MLC -
At detachment - not so great. I find it really hard - despite saying she wants separation and inviting her to leave, she is still here. I still find her physically and sexually attractive and its hard - the longer this goes on though, and the more nothing changes, I realise I have to let go; its not a healthy environment for me being ignored on every level. I feel in less emotional turmoil when she is not about.
As for trust- she lied and cheated for four months and in true mlc style, shows little to no remorse. Apologies do not appear very sincere; she appears not to care less about the marriage - her life should be an open book to rebuild trust, but again its all about her and establishing independence. She continues to lie about little things - she has changed passwords on phones and bank accounts, with shallow excuses. Is she still cheating? I can only speculate. She will disappear for days with a good story (visiting family) and I won't hear from her at all; Her behaviour does nothing to rebuild any form of trust. It will take me a very long time and a lot of work on her part to enable me to fully trust her again.
It doesn't matter what I do or say, or not do and not say, I just come against a wall of resistance with her; It all seems in such a downward spiral and I cant see a way back; despite not pursuing or engaging, nothing changes and nothing seems to work. She is in a complete fog and world of her own and only she can find the way out. Its tough....
