Do not text her anything unless it is for a very specific emergency related reason. Do not initiate any contact that is not absolutely necessary. You need to give her as much physical and emotional space as possible right now. If she wants to communicate, she will reach out to you.

As for waking up every night, I haven't had a full night of sleep since January 29, 2018 because of my sitch. I fall asleep, I dream, my wife is there in the dream almost always and when she is not, it is still a nightmare and I wake up in tears, pain, fear and sadness. Every night for the past 5 months. I dread going to sleep now. Hopefully you will not experience the same, but I can tell you that you will probably have more nights like that in your future before your sitch is resolved. Fear and pain are powerful things.

I know it seems impossible, but you have to let go and put your feelings to the side for right now. I cannot yet do this either, but I know it can be done and it is a key part of DBing. You cannot fix your W, she has to make her own choices. You can only control you. Be there for your son right now. Be present for him and those you are visiting abroad. Live in the now and let your W have her time completely alone.

M: 40 W: 37
T: 20 MR: 13
S13, S9, S4
BD: 1/29/18
Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out)
8/24/18 I come home, she moves out

If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.