Maybe she feels like a baby sitter to her children
But you do not have to accept anyone speaking to you like that
Demand respect
Even if she has no self respect
You may not care if she speaks to you like that
But do you care if she refers to you as the live in baby sitter to your children
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
she is referring to herself as the stay at home babysitter, not me.
Next update.
She comes home from her night out and makes a racket when she comes in. The next morning after she has left for work, i get up to have my shower and notice she has got a 2nd elliptical trainer in here bedroom. It mad me laugh as we had one in the uk and i think we used it 6 times in 5 years, it was an expensive clothes hanger.
So i go out on Wednesday and do GAL activity. All was well when i come. except my daughter was upset and the W was trying to explain confidence issues, where she quotes shallow Hal, How nuts is that.
Then i come home from work on Thursday and she asks when i have some free time without the kids being there, can we have a chat. I say yes, then said i can meet you on my lunch break tomorrow, she hesitated but said yes. But i checked my calendar and i have a busy day. so i say we will have to reschedule. So she says that she doesn't want the kids to be here when we talk, but off she goes, telling me that the longer she lives with me the more resentful she feels for me and will eventually hate me. Then she barks on about the house, i keep my stance and I'm not selling it. This is while my daughter is in the same room as us. She keeps going on that she hasn't got the money, calls me over for being many things. She cannot saved for furniture, so i say again, take everything downstairs, If i was trying to get away from someone, i would grab what i can. She then says her dad has stopped talking to her as she wants to move out, she cries many times, blaming me for this. I just sit there, listening and showing no emotion. Then dinner is ready and we all site at the dinning table and starts a normal conversation with me. Again, really nuts.
It's wiping me out a bit now, so i go out and take the dog for a walk. come back 90 minutes later and the D12 and W are on the sofa browsing the web and the W is laughing out loud at things they are doing. I put my S10 to bed and say goodnight, The W says it's on 8:45, its a bi early for bed. We all normally go to bed at this time.
I'm a bit sluggish and not in my groove today. All the different personalities last night has drained me.
Wow, scoobs, we have a lot in common. Only my H has not ever told the kids about his many plans to move out.
I think you are doing admirably well. It is awful what she is doing to the kids, but trust that the truth will be clear to them later if not now, and they will appreciate how you managed to keep the peace even when your W was acting like a bratty teenager.
I don't think she wants to go but she just wants a relief from the pain, which she right now thinks is you.
I am also refusing to sell the house; it's hard.
Can you generate any income from your house? Maybe you can share any income you got from doing AirB or making an office space to rent out. Just thinking of ways to make her feel heard, even if what she wants is unfair and unreasonable.
On the other hand, I try to do this with my H and nothing satisfies his voracious appetite for blame and anger.
I would say that you should go to see a financial planner with her so that it can't be about your personalities or what is going on, but just the facts about money. But if you do meet with her, try the spreadsheet that was recommended to me so it's all in the numbers!
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
While we were going through the finacials she started button pressing and im ashamed to say i took the bait and lost it. Things were said which should have stayed in. It settled down later and left it there. But she was left at the table crying for about 20 minutes and then told me about another financail burden i would have pay. I just said ok, then she locked herself in her bedroom for the remainder of the night.
Scoobs, will you please go look in the mirror and say, "SCOOBS, you are doing okay! You are going through something horrible and you are doing the very best you can!"
You are human! Your heart is broken and you are trying to hold it together under impossible circumstances all while living with a mentally ill person -- because even if it's temporary, MLC is a mental illness!
All the rules and regulations for us LBS's are to help us heal and survive. They are not to make us feel like crap when we can't follow them. Remember, you can't fix her. So when you mess up, you aren't causing any additional problems. You're just dealing with the problems that already exist in a way that might not be the best for your own healing and sanity.
When I read what happened, I didn't think, "Oh, gosh, scoobs really screwed that up and let himself down." I thought, Oh, poor Scoobs, I have been there and I know just exactly how he is feeling.
God will fix your mess. You can't. Forgive yourself first and then try to forgive her if you have any left over.
((((Scoobs))))
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
It just flaws me that she is so calm and patient most days, it makes me doubt its a MLC because she doesn't have the major drama that i see so many people having.
