I'm Broken II

[HelenaJ]

H had some clothes in his basket that he had told me needed to be rewashed (or at least I thought that's what he said). They sat there in the entryway for a week and I was cleaning up so I put his clothes in the dirty laundry and put the basket away. I woke up the next morning to a text that came through at like 1:20am saying "where are my shirts?" I got up and went into the bathroom and ran into his laundry bin and noticed that my clothes had been thrown on the floor from my vanity chair. I was pretty sure this was something he had done but thought maybe D15 put my clothes on the floor to sit in my vanity chair and paint her nails or something but she said no, she didn't do that. I said ok, I figured you didn't, I think I know what happened. She said what? I said I think Daddy was mad that I moved his clothes. She said he was probably drunk. I said no, it was just last night. She said again, he was probably drunk. Later that morning after D15 had left H asked me about his clothes and I said I thought you told me they needed to be rewashed so I put them in the laundry. The maturity level of...then he started talking over me, etc. He does no wrong you know.

As I go through this journey, I think back to some of the things H has said to me and I wonder what would have been a better response than what I gave. My H asked me a couple of months ago "Why did you do this to us?"....of course I apologized, said I never meant to hurt him I just lost track of time, same things I've said over and over. If he said that to me again tomorrow, is there a more appropriate response? It just seems like the way he talks to me, there is no good way to respond, no way to really communicate. I mean, as I think about it, it's not really a question is it? I mean, not one I can answer....it's a rhetorical question. Why am I just seeing that??