WAW - managing limbo period

[40free]

Thanks AnotherStander. I think you're right - she's going to refuse to leave, I'm almost certain of it. And if I was just dealing with the break up and nothing else, I think I could probably cope. We do get on ok, we are civil, still have the kids in common and many joint interests - it would be fine. As you saw from my last post, we actually enjoy each other's company still, or can do.

BUT, firstly, we are about to go into mediation and the for sure there will at some point be a lot of tension around the financial agreement and eventual living arrangements, and bringing that back into the home afterwards is just going to be awful. Bad enough if it's just the two of us under one roof, but the kids are here too, and it's not fair on the them to have us with that level of tension going on around them, when things are out in the open and they know what's going on.

PLUS - even though she says she has not seen the OM since mid May, she for sure is lying, and so the thought that she is cake eating with him and constantly scheming to see him will just drive me insane. Detaching is easy to say, but not so easy to do with all that going on.

Add to that I'm also trying to run a business and be a good parent (not necessarily in that order), I just don't think it will be tenable to stay under one roof all that time. DB'ing like crazy will maybe help, and yes, maybe, just maybe, a future recon is possible if I LRT/GAL/detach, but in my view my W is just too far gone to even acknowledge any of that. Maybe I'm wrong - maybe the vets will say she may still turn, but I don't think so.

AnotherStander - just to clarify, what is it you mean by

She's content to keep things in limbo, so if you're not then you're going to have to do all the work.

Do you mean DB'ing? Or something else?

Plan B then, if I really can't cope, is to consider moving out myself. I REALLY do not want to do that though. Why the hell should I?? I need to sleep on this, as now it's starting to wind me up.

I'm out with S17 again tomorrow - just me and him. An overnight trip to see another school, so some time to reflect and get some space for myself, which usually does me a lot of good. Out of sight, mostly out of mind in my experience.

Then we're on count down to telling the kids. 1 week to go..