Walk Away Spouse after 6 yrs - Part 2

[OrangeK]

In what ways can YOU grow, change and improve yourself?
I am doing a lot of GAL, trying to involve more with extra curricular activities work etc. increase my social circle.

These are things you can do to improve your SITUATION. what are you doing to improve yourself, emotionally? What are you reading, are you seeing an IC?

What is YOUR biggest flaw?
I think you got one of my flaws correct. My biggest flaw within me is Controlling and manipulative. Yes my wife knows that is my weakness. And she sees this every now and then. At least now, I have reduced my controlling behavior a lot. However, my wife is also controlling and manipulative to a large extent. Hence the dance between us.
I see.

What did YOU do to contribute to the downfall of your marriage?
SSM and Trust issues. She never allowed me physically close. And we also had plenty of MIL DIL issues and families never patched. So she things the whole package (Me and my family) is bad. Due to SSM she never trusts me. She thought she Can't fix it and best is to just leave the situation. And that is what she is doing now.
you didnt answer the question. you just blameshifted onto your wife.
So, what did YOU DO to contribue to the downfall of your MR?

Nobody is perfect, What do you do to make you an imperfect husband?
What could you do better?

Some of the missing things in me was less intimacy, less validation and loss of the physical closeness. I did not take the lead in many of my initiatives to fix the existing issues we had in our marraige. She saw that as a weakness and thought i am no longer interested in her and staying only for money (She earns more). This and many other trust issues.
I just need to be brutally honest with her no matter what. I have been doing that so far. But she still does not trust me. She thinks i am secretive and manipulative and what not. However time is the only healing factor here. And hope someday she sees me in a different way.

I gotta be completely honest here NC,
You basically dodged or blame-shifted on almost every question i asked you.
I am very concerened about that, i asked the questions i did for a reason.

I may ruffle the feathers here, but here comes the 2x4.
Have you ever considered that you might have narcissistic traits? or Borderline traits?
You seem unwilling to accept blame, you seem to have a really hard time accepting others advice, and admitting fault.
You blame-shift and seem to enjoy arguing.

I would get yourself with an IC ASAP.
I really think an IC will help you work through YOU. Then when YOU are feeling 100%, you can focus on your MR.

Best Wishes NC, ill be in touch and watching for updates.