Walk Away Spouse after 6 yrs - Part 2

[Nutcrac]

REPOSTING SINCE PREVIOUS POST WAS CASCADED WITHING WINDOW

But as of now she does not have anyone in her heart. She is just too broken hearted.

you dont KNOW that, that is what SHE told you, part of HER narrative. I would be inclined NOT to believe it for that exact reason.

OrangeK. This i can tell you 100%. when we were in home, I was also doubtful and at times, I had intentionally spied on her Electronic media. She does not. She in fact watches a lot of women Empowerement videos and prefers to be single. She has her cousin, brother and many others who are divorcees and support her. That is the issue here. I am not saying she won't marry or something. Down the line she will marry someone. It will take a while I know.

I think she needs to heal from it first, which itself will take a long time.
Like some of the behavior about her, I posted it in your thread. And she does have some BPD, narcissistic qualities. However, you just cant treat them with medication.

No, if that IS the case she needs IC, which you will never talk her into doing. She must make that choice herself.

You are right. She will never ever agree to that. In fact she will say that I need a psychiatrist rather than her.

If she is going through so much of pain now,

Her "I am in so much pain" is being used to distract you from her deception i think. She is playing on the fact that you care, that you are nice, she knows this will distract you from looking further into things. Be cautious NC, i honestly think you are LETTING her manipulate you.

She knows that. I definitely had a NGS issue throughout the marriage. It won't distract me. To tell you frankly, I am in touch with other girls and I enjoy life as well. Of course I have my wife in my thoughts. My wife also knows that I can charm any other woman easily. The problem she is leaving me is because - she has a low self esteem. Ours was a SSM issue. She thinks she is not beautiful enough to attract me. As a matter of fact, Why will any woman stay with her spouse in such a marraige?

If you have researched BPD, NPD and other such things you know what the best action is for you.
NO CONTACT. everything about NPD emotional abuse syas cut ties, go NC, and keep it that way.
So if you ARE being emotionally abused, and you need to go NC, or the cycle will just continue.

Yes thats right. But there are research articles that tell you that NPD can be cured if the right kind of emotional therapy can be applied. Yes Narcissists can change. Extremely low possibility. However, it depends on how you can manage it.

she does not have the proper mindset to even give her own life a chance to move on.

Is that what she is telling you?

Nope. Her actions are showing that. She was very very lonely and depressed when I saw her. She does her arts and crafts sitting lonely. She is spending the kind of like that I used to spend when I was alone in my marital home.

That is where some level of emotional connection is required. Rather than abandoning her. It could be like meet her sometime once in a while, just be stringent with the time, meet at your own terms and plan to leave first. You can be emotionally safe with no expectations. She can also think over and keep safe. And leave the rest to faith!

I still feel 100% She is using your kindness to make you think she is the "Injured Princess" to keep your guard down, acting the victim is classic emotional manipulation.
She wants you to pursue because she wants to keep you in the cycle.
This doesnt mean she wants you, the MR, to R or any of that.

Like I said she could be. Just imaging yourself in your wife position and you taking advantage of a nice person and repaying back with abuse? That guilt feeling even for a BPD / NPD is difficult to handle. Also I am not going to be in that cycle for long. I have the ability to move on. At this time that is not what I want and that is the only reason I am sticking to this stitch.

Im really not trying to be a jerk here NC, but i think you are LETTING her lead you on, manipulate you, and believing her narrative as to whats going on.

Shes playing you man. HARD.

Like I said earlier. She could be playing on me. Trust me, If i was being played so hard by her, she would have been nice , try to reconcile, agreed to MC, be very manipulative and finally left me. But her anger shows that she does have some hidden feelings somewhere. And she cant see the light of it.