M, if you always conduct yourself with dignity (which I'm very confident you do) then THAT is what your in-laws will see regardless of what W may have told them. Older couples have been to hell and back at some point in their own R, and they've seen everything you can imagine in the R's of their friends and family. They've been there and done that. They surely support their D, but I promise if she's ranting and raving to them about how terrible you are and you are staying out of the firefight and instead conducting yourself with quiet dignity, well that will speak volumes to them.
As an aside, no one has ever told me that XW said one bad thing about me even right after BD, so WAS's don't always do the trash-talking thing.
