What typically causes the "Shine" to fall off of OM?
I think it can be a variety of things, depending on his sitch.
In a typical WW case, she is fogged out with her fantasy. When reality begins to break through the fantasy, she will see more clearly.
For example, if the affair partners are pushed together and have to deal with day-to-day reality stuff, it can quickly remove the thrill and passion that a secret affair offers. She starts seeing a side of him that was not obvious during the height of their secret fling. After all, he was partly responsible for breaking up a M, so it's not as if he is some "prize of a man". He'll start slipping. She'll start seeing.
For the WW who does not have a mental health issue, the fog will start to lift and she can see what she may have previously chose to overlook.
Quote:
What about in WW's that get D'd vs. ones that dont?
I don't think it matters, as far as the WW seeing the shine leave OM. She's chasing a fantasy. If she divorces her H and marries the OM before her fog lifts, then she is in for a sad, sad awakening when she discovers OM is not the man of her dreams after all.
As I have previously stated on your threads, after reading more information, I have come to suspect your W has a serious mental flaw. Comparing her to the "typical" WW........seems a bit pointless. (Hope that doesn't sound cold). Seeing her as a WW, gives false hope that she could come out of her fog and eventually work her way back to the H. I just don't believe this is the case with your W. I don't think she is in a fog, or chasing a fantasy. I don't think she is addicted to the feelings of limerence. She chooses her victim, uses him for some selfish purpose, then moves on to her next victim.
In the case of your W, it is not waywardness, but a much more severe psychological issue.
This is JMHO, for whatever it is worth.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
