she then told me that she didn't want a D- and that she wanted to try counselling- I was reluctant at first- but over the last week or so, she explained how she wants to be happy but she would find it hard to trust me
So she filed false charges against you, abandoned the M and professed love for OM. Yet she doesn't know if SHE can trust YOU. Well isn't that rich.
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- and whilst it is her choice to trust or not, it is also mine-
Yes indeed and you have no reason to trust her right now.
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up until this week however, she was still in contact with him and she tells me that she still has feelings for him that can't just be "switched off" and whilst I understand that, the jealously and stress it is causing me is extreme, so I have gone dark again, I just don't know what to do for the best, as I told her straight that I cannot allow her to have 3 people in her marriage and she said she understood, but I feel that while I am still going out with her and the children, this is enabling her to continue to message and be in contact with him, and I feel like she is taking me for a ride.
I agree. You need to protect yourself, and as long as she's still in contact with OM there is really nothing to discuss with her.
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Please can someone advise me on what to do?
Can you clarify briefly what has transpired, are you living with your mother because of the charges your W filed against you? Were you forcibly removed from the home? Do you want to go back? Personally I would make it a priority to get back in the house. Your W is the one that should be out. Is there a restraining order against you? If not then tell your W that ANY negotiations on the M will begin AFTER you move back in.
