Can I really do this #4

[Dtrmned]

Nothing really to report. Just kind of journaling for a moment.

Working on my relationship with my D. We have talked a few times this week and do have some plans this weekend so I am hopeful that we can work at rebuilding this as time goes by.

W was having some issues yesterday. I don't know what they were, but her and the kids went just on a brief errand and she put some stuff in the crock pot for dinner, but then my D said she fell asleep on the couch around 3. She slept for 4 hours. Was very groggy for the rest of the evening and then barely got up right when I was leaving this morning. She didn't comment too much when I just asked how she was. She merely stated that she was just exhausted and wiped out.

For me, worked out this week, lots going on. Still way too much in my head and worried about what W is thinking and how this will all work out. I remember Steve reminding me that limbo is the gift of time, so I am taking this as another week that we are still in the same house together, sleeping in the same bed and are decently polite to each other. We even had the issue of pulling together and being united and even agreeing on a big issue with our D so that was great in my book.

This morning is weird though. I glanced at my W as I came back into our room after my workout to get ready for work. She was still sleeping at that moment. Love and sadness fell over me at the same time. I love this woman with all my heart. I can't say that to her right now. She knows. Not that she cares right now either, but she knows. Headed toward the weekend, and even looking at a holiday week, I am not dreading it as much as I used to dread the Friday evening drive home prior to the weekend and "what is going to happen". If something happens, I will deal with it properly. Goals are to get some stuff done around the house, GAL, and hopefully get out and do something with the kids. W is always invited and not a passing thought, so if she comes then great. If not, she gets some time to herself.