Affair discovered 2

[STH17]

Talked with W. I had a buyer for our vehicle with 190k miles for $300. I brought up the joint accounts again. We disagree on whether the court would require us to split everything 50/50. I started feeling angry, because of the disagreement, W's resistance to separating accounts, or because of how I feel about W's spending. W noticed and asked if I was angry. I said yes I was feeling angry. That is a good 180 for me to actually say that, but then I had to explain what I was angry about. That is the moment I think I should instead excuse myself from the conversation to cool down. I need practice.

I think I said I was upset because I have denied myself any spending money for years, and I want to be able to spend my own money and know where my money is going. W kept asking me why I wanted to close the accounts, and I said I didn't want any joint accounts with her. I asked why she wanted to keep them. She brought up paying for food, so I said I would give her money for food. She said we were still married. Not proud of this but I said "Are we?" She said "You haven't signed anything yet have you?" I told her "You can't have it both ways", another thing probably better kept to myself. She asked if I was accusing her of something. I wondered how she could have forgotten me telling her I believed she was having an affair??? I don't think I responded to that, but she started yelling, and son came in to ask what we were doing. I left the room saying I wasn't going to be yelled at anymore. That's the first time I've ever done that, and need to practice it too. W tried to make it my responsibility to resume the conversation, but I told her no, she needed to calm down and come to me. She protested once more, but I did not engage further.

Later after she had cooled down she did ask me if we were going to talk any more tonight, and I said no not tonight, I need to go to bed. She still wants us to come to a decision about the joint accounts, but I think I have certainly made my position clear enough to go ahead and open a private checking account of my own. That's something I'll do on Saturday while she's out. Pretty sure I'm gonna do it this time.

Oh before talking about our accounts she also told me she was moving out in two weeks. Don't know how that's going to work with our son, which is something she wants to talk about. She also told me she found a new gym that costs $100 a month. Not sure why she told me that, but I asked her how she was going to pay for it and she said she'd figure something out.