Thanks so much guys for all of the input, I do appreciate the help through this entire process...It is interesting that I so feared signing the D papers but that has actually seemed to give me some perspective..I now have nothing left to lose so I have nothing to FEAR... Once the BD, I immediately did the painful, job of looking at what I contributed to the break-up (with my therapist) and we've been working on the those issues..Originally with my intent to win her back but it has morphed into doing it to better myself, which is the correct reason for change.. I have noticed a couple of things that I have done that have helped me tremendously...The 1st was throwing myself into the gym daily and using the anger as motivation to be in my best shape since High School...The confidence I get from accomplishing those physical goals helps to take my focus off of my sich, plus even though I'm struggling inside my outside appearance is confident.. 2nd, I read a book called This Break up won't Break you, which is directed toward men...It also, uses some brain science and explains the chemical reactions taking place that help explain the emotions that I'm going through, which are similar to a cocaine addict going through withdrawals...Really insightful and the first thing it talks about is No Contact, which is exactly everyone'd advice on here... Speaking of No Contract, I've been doing a great job and even though its only been 2 days with complete no contact I have been very proud of myself over the last couple of months only replying to her contact...Wouldn't you know it, she just texted me about something financial...It is interesting that my initial reaction was heart fluttering to hear from her but than I was dammit, I gotta break my NC and start over..I'll start another streak tomorrow.. It has been slow progress for me with extreme lows combined with a few ups but at least at this moment, I seem to have a direction that I'm committed to and gradually gaining confidence in myself...Thank-you
