Benito, thanks for the posts, i actually read both of them a few times to not miss out on anything. I am guilty of most of the things you point out here as well and I am sure most LBSs are initially, how each of us lets go and detaches is all dependent again on our personalities I believe and I know the earlier we reach that stage the faster we heal.
But what I can pragmatically say in another person's sitch I fail to apply to my own. Emotions and desperation to keep the MR turn us into someone else.
I have asked people how to approach, what to say to WAH, a person I have spent 15 years and practically all my adult life with. BD gives them the power and makes us the weak spouse that grovels to save the MR. But every time I want to respond to WAH in my usual way I start thinking , the real me is who he has rejected so unless I try to appease and see his side he will not like me. It is weak I know but I have tried justifying that it is validation and 180 and so I see in Davide and most other sitches too. you read how DB is counter intuitive but you only know how much so when you actually start practicing it.
