Just a couple of observations if I may:

"When I put my foot down over S then she caves"

It might be because you 'put your foot down' rather than negotiating that she doesn't want to be in contact?

Do you know how to relate to your partner?

Do you know how to create an intimate R?

Are you inconsistent with boundaries? Weak sometimes and over the top on others.

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Your M is over, and you can't save it. It is gone. Why would you want back something that wasn't working?

Why do you not want something better?

None of this negates W actions, she could have chosen to work rather than go this route.

But what was your part in the breakdown of your M? Are you controlling? Nice guys usually are.

V

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW