I really don't. I thought it was mostly a misunderstanding. I think this because we were then on the phone for a long time and I didn't get any sense of what I did earlier on text.
Originally Posted By: JujuB
So you are more attracted to her when she is light, not overly interested and a bit detached. When she gets too deep and honest or seems to like you or indicate a future together you lose attraction
Yes and No. So, yes, I am more attracted when light and a bit detached, but no, it wasn't her liking me and indicating a future as I've already been getting that vibe, even though she's trying to hide it and play it cool. It was the perceived very quick shift or break from light and detached to what I thought was "I'm getting scared, I like you too much and feel like running." that had me losing interest. I've had that happen and just had a friend of mine's GF tell me that if this was her BFF (who I think they sort of have been trying to set me up with) this girl would be ready to move in after a 30 hour date like we had. Others, including here, have said "do you really think she's not going get attached?" It was this but in a crazy, not healthy way. I thought, OMG, do I need to talk her down and reassure her already? I thought she was to the point she just can't hide it anymore and it was going to come flooding in.
We've talked about the near-term future with her often being coy about it. I'll just naturally say "the next time I see you blah blah blah" and she will respond "Oh, so you think we're going out again huh?" I know she's playing but I like it. In this case, it felt, needy and clingy and a little crazy. I'm sure it was more inside my head but I kept asking (through text) for clarification but it never came.
As I said, this is as much about me than anything, but as you said and complained, it's just natural for most guys. Now If I'm still feeling this same way in 6 months or a year (if it even gets to that point) that is waaaaaaay different than 3 weeks in. If it was purely just a hook up or friends with benefits I would not care nearly as much. But since I've found out much more about her and see we are more compatible than I first assumed, it was more concerning. I'm not full in by any-means, but I'm not close to done seeing where this goes yet either. And not at all done having fun. It's rare for me to be both having this much fun and also this much at ease at the same time. Time has just flown when we talk or do something and I have not at all felt uncomfortable or pressured. Contrast that with an afternoon date I did a few months ago where after two hours I was ready for her to go.
I relayed this story because it made such an impression on me and also is a great learning lesson. If and I really do mean IF, we get to a more serious point, it will be largely because she's not smothering me or wanting too much too fast. She really has a good part in controlling if I want to see her again and for how long that keeps happening - at least in the early going. Doing what she is doing totally has my interest with nearly zero pressure. I think both men and women can learn from this.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
