Am I Piecing, or Pi$$ing in the wind???

[SteveLW]

Clyde, just a question. To see how your W might be thinking. But what I have found is that when my W is critical of my purchases it is because I have been critical of hers.

Do you nitpick her spending? If yes then that is an opportunity for a 180. If not, then yes she is being unfair.

Prior to BD I was always harping on how much my W would spend. She is notoriously an unfrugal shopper. I just told in my thread how last week she went to get snacks, breakfast and energy bar types, so that we'd have those as we are preparing to sell our house and move. She came home with upwards of 20 boxes of bars. In the past I would have criticized this as excessive. But in the big scheme of things it isn't that big of a deal.

Now, when I've bought a new gun or something else for my hunting, she would hold resentment like your W over the guitar. But it wasn't necessarily the purchase I made as much as it was the fact that I nitpicked her buying 3 boxes of cereal and then went and made a major purchase.

Anyway, in general I think you are doing the right thing. She tried to play the "a manly man would let me do what I want" card, and you called her on it. I would advise to remain calm when doing so. Keeping emotion out of it has a bigger impact.

"You think I should be more manly? Well, I think being manly is not putting up with deceit and lies. I would like you to move out until you can respect me enough to try to earn my trust back."