M: So you are telling me you are still holding on to something that happened 2 years ago?
W: Well it happened
M: To the point I was making, you are holding resentment towards me... and beyond that, my comment was a reaction to something you said that hurt me, not only did I forgive you for what you said, I have told you many times that I could have handled my response better. Your resentment/bitterness towards me shows, it's that block that I have not been able to put my finger on.
W: I'm not bitter, I live in the moment.
M: You just said otherwise.
W: Well there is other things too, like when you brought that guitar.

(2 years ago I brought myself a guitar, I pulled a quick job over 2 nights to pay for it. The notion to do so was spawned from feeling unappreciated... realizing I have done nothing for myself since I met my W, yet always spoiled her. Anyhow she asked me how much it was, I told not to worry about it, I'm doing an extra job to cover it. I realize and have acknowledged to her that was not the best way to handle it. At the moment I justified the comment by her lack of appreciation.)

M: What have I ever brought for myself, I told you I should of communicated the purchase with you better, but yet you still bring up that guitar nearly every argument we have. I would think you would be happy I finally did something for myself.
W: I am happy you did that.
M: Then why do you b!tch about it every chance you get.
W: You just brought a mountain bike.
M: Yeah, after I sold a more expensive one, putting the extra money into the house.

I bring up several examples where I feel her bitterness has reared its head.

I bring up the jerky...
W: I did you a favor, tiu should not be eating it that much.
M: BS, that was not your intent, but since we are talking about excess consumption, you have been drinking way to much, you need to kick back. (She has not had a drink since...?????? Last night and tonight, she usually has at least one, but recently it's been excessive).
A few minutes of silence.

M: I want to talk about last month when you went out w/ your "sister" and blew me off.
W: Oh god here we go again, you know what I want, I want a manly man, who is secure enough to trust me out...
M: Really, I'm not even going to go into the trust you mentioned... you say you want a manly man?
W: Yup
M: Well here you go sweetheart, here's your manly man, GET THE F@CK OUT!!! I'm done with your $h!t, you have no respect for me, you have mistaken my kindness for weakness, you have mistaken my willingness to do anything to keep our family together as ignorance. I'm done!!!

Silence, I get up and go to the bathroom. When I come back she is posted up on the couch, looked like she was going to sleep out there, (last BD I asked her several times to come back to the Mbed, even after arguing, I think she thought I might do just that), I did not say anything about her being on the couch, she came to bed a few hours later.

I'm still kicking around my harsh response to her manly man comment, I don't feel bad as if yet.


The sun still rises, even though the pain.

Married: 10 Together: 17
M:40 W:37
D:13, S 7, S:5
1st Bomb dropped: 4/20/17 2nd Bomb dropped: 6/6/17
Separated: 7/26/17
W moved back home: 12/1/17