W starts to taper back her pursuit, guess she figured I was back on the hook, at the same time 2 of the 4 nights she works she came home later than usual, as I stated earlier, I suspect she went to a bar after work, however without asking why she was so late, she made it a point to say she was working late.

The night after her late night out we are sitting on the couch, she cozys up to me, after a minute I caressed her inner thigh, she moves my hand away and coldly says I'm not in the mood, my response, "gosh, doesn't look like you are even willing to see if you can get in the mood." I drop it at that point as it was already too much pursuit on my behalf, I don't let it get to me.

She later comes to bed but does not touch me, no cuddles etc. It's like she was waiting for me to do so. I don't let on that I am even noticing.

I had been waiting on having the convo about fins, along with boundaries being crossed, etc...

M: What do you expect/want out of this M?
W: Are you serious, we've been having a great 2 weeks, this is all cause you aren't getting laid tonight.
M: Yeah the last 2 weeks have been nice on the surface, but we have several issues that developed in the last 2 months that are still festering, waiting to re-emerge. I bring it up now because we are not angry/arguing w/ one another, I thought maybe we'd have a better chance at getting to the bottom of it if we were not already arguing. No it has nothing to do with me not getting laid, that being said your response to my advance was poor, if I did that to you, it would upset you.
W: I'm sure if you got laid we would be cuddling right now.
M: No, as a matter of fact I've been battling with wether or not to have this convo, knowing that it was likely not going to go anywhere good. I'm already thinking I should have kept my mouth shut, I guess somewhere in the last two weeks I started having hopes for us again. Bottom line, I think it is pretty clear we are not on a good path to a lasting R. If you are not willing to hear my concerns that says a lot.

Fast forward...

M: I believe you want this to work, but something is in the way and I can not figure it out... I get some things take time, but can you tell me things half as good as they were 3-4 years ago?
W: things changed 2 years ago on the back patio.
M: There you go, we're getting somewhere...

(She is referring to the tree house argument, a quick recap: I had been working 100 weeks for 6 months... W encouraged me to do so, it was also around this time that I first started to feel unappreciated by my W. I decided to take a day off and build a tree house for D13, W says no. I ask why, she says if I'm going to take the day off I should be doing other projects around the house. I explain to her that I can only take one day off, other projects require more than one day - I can bump the tree house out in one day... besides the other projects are "work" and I need a break, the treehouse sounds like fun. W says "I'm tired of living in a $hit hole, I'm embarrassed of our house." (Our house is actually nice, yeah as a contractor I have some ongoing projects waiting to be completed). Anyhow that comment along w/ feeling unappreciated prior, hit a nerve. I responded, "I'm done busting my ass, I'm going to finish these contracts, and when I do, I'm going to be a SAHF, you can go be the breadwinner!" That started a several week no communication period, we finally went to MC, and seemed to have recovered.)

Got to go for now... I'll continue asap.


The sun still rises, even though the pain.

Married: 10 Together: 17
M:40 W:37
D:13, S 7, S:5
1st Bomb dropped: 4/20/17 2nd Bomb dropped: 6/6/17
Separated: 7/26/17
W moved back home: 12/1/17