Interesting thought today from my therapist and wanted to get you guys opinions..She believes that my W is self-sabotaging herself due to some of her childhood experiences,abandonment issues from her mother cheating on her dad and leaving her when she was 5 to take care of S3 and S1, and self-esteem issues, which if you saw my W you would think no way..She made the terrible choice of 1-night stand and due to our many talks throughout our marriage on infidelity doesn't think there is any way that I'd want her back, hence punishing herself with a very quick D with no chance of working anything out...W believes this is the only way to relieve the guilt and shame of what she did.. Since my W, will not discuss the relationship and give me nor anyone else valid reasons as to why she was unhappy but told no one...I just don't know any answers...I just don't know, I've been working with my therapist for 9 years so she knows our relationship inside and out and was just as shocked and at a loss for words as anyone.. I guess the only reason, I shared is to see if this would effect my going dark and detaching??I guess I still think that nothing that I do or say will have an affect on her right now but it seemed like our opening of communication was softening her...Another thing, my b-day is Sunday and my DB coach thought it would be an opportunity for communication.. I don't know, it was pretty unanimous from everyone on here to go dark/detach, which I've done...It is just much more difficult now since my W isn't contacting me everyday, that was kinda my security blanket...I guess just being a newb, makes you second guess everything...I do have moments now of acceptance and moving on by myself, than BOOM, something, someone jars a memory of her and I'm right back to depressingly long for her again...This is such an Empty, Empty way to live..Why do people do this to people that care about them and love them more than anything in the world? Not only that but they stood before God and professed their undying commitment to this loved one forever..It just doesn't seem right, and as I stumble through this living hell trying to piece my life together, what is their punishment?
