OMG!! So my middle sister just called me...having issues in HER MR. Come to find out SHE is WW!!! Has no feelings, OM, sees no chance to save her MR. So now it's like I'm talking to my W who I think is WW while my sister is for sure. Question for the ladies on here...when a lady has "no feelings" does that truly mean it's hopeless for the LBH? My sister has said she's had no feelings for at least a year but only had OM recently. She has said no matter what my bro-in-law might try to do to fix it, no chance she'll get feelings back for him.
Seriously so besides my MR, I'm trying to help my WW sister. I would love some serious discussion on the whole W no feelings = no hope concept. I'm trying to suggest to her that it's the OM making her feel that way, but would love more comments.
Sandi- can we get clarification b/c my W said that also yet she was still making me coffee , making me dinner, asking to help. what do we make of this?
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Seems to me your sister can save her marriage and her husband has hope. The reason is your Sister came to you. You understand the position of your brother and now you are gaining advice to help.
If your sister was truly gone she would not of told you. She trust you. Don't tell her what's right and wrong but validate her feelings like you would your W. Your role for your sister is listening validation and truth. I have a friend in the same ditch he is a WH and his W has treated him like deal their whole M. I just validate and listen and tell him the truth. I never tell him he's wrong.
I say things like your family is important and your W still loves you. And when he says, "yeah right", I say I get it. And continue to listen.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Sandi one question on my sitch and the rules. If W wants to talk specifics regarding D like what to do with child care, the dog, cars, etc should I do so in a detached way or ignore and stall?
Sandi one question on my sitch and the rules. If W wants to talk specifics regarding D like what to do with child care, the dog, cars, etc should I do so in a detached way or ignore and stall?
To which rule are you referring?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So it may not be a written rule as yet. If a WW wants to discuss who gets what in the house or the dog or any specifics of a D settlement what how should the LBH conduct himself? Work with her, ignore, deflect? My W is trying to reach agreement on all sorts of stuff but we have months to go.
