You cannot save the M when you are pursuing a wayward W. Your fear is dictating your thoughts, so you need to calm down and get control of your emotions. At the moment, you are at your weakest. Your emotions are reacting to the painful messages you read, finding the BC pills, bar receipts, etc. You feel your world is slipping through your fingers, so you are wanting to secure the M by asking her for a commitment. It won't work. All cheaters lie.
Don't have a talk with her. If you allow her to see your desperation, she will feel repulsed. She does not want a solution to fix the MR.
Don't do anything that looks as if you are trying to hold on to her. I realize this is counterintuitive and will be difficult, but you cannot show her that you want her. You cannot show that you fear losing her. She is cheating on you! Trying to persuade her to put forth any effort to save a MR she hates..........will only makes her feel more contempt.
Rather than press her to do the right thing, let go of her. Don't coddle someone who treats you this way. Respect yourself enough to let go of the one who feels contempt for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
