Gordie - first off I'd like to say that if I was in your shoes that I would be doing the same thing. I don't know if that is true or not, you are a model of someone who understands at his core patience, duty and love even if I am sure you struggle with this.
Blunt talk time.
One key difference between our situations I think is the fact that my now ex found a much higher value OM than your's did. We are both I believe moderately successful professionals and that's a hard lifestyle to give up. My ex works and makes a reasonable income on her own where your's has been dependent on your income. That gave my ex a cushion to be able to be independent even before I started sending her a monthly cheque.
Yes, there were old unresolved "family of origin" issues in both of our cases. We all have them though. You and I included but we deal with them as best we can.
I presume that menopause hasn't quite hit yet but when it does, she may well backslide significantly. If she hasn't dealt with what she wants in life by then she quite well go off dancing with the fairies again. Especially if she finds a higher value target.
At the end of both volumes of the Histories of Don Quixote (yes I will get this entire forum to read those darned books ) he returns to his native persona of Senor Alonso Quixano who regrets his previous madness and at one point promises to burn his books on chivalry. I find these days that I am more Quixano than Quixote.
I do believe that in many ways you are seeing clearly what is immediately in front of you. Like many of us, you have problems seeing the future. Something that none of us can truly see until it has become the past.
I am just speaking to you from a future that has happened to me but perhaps may never befall you. There are giants, wizards and dark pits in front of you perhaps.
From what I have read here and elsewhere, unless she reaches a point where she atones for her transgressions she continues to be susceptible to another fall from grace. In most cases I have read - which I am sure is a small segment of the real world - it requires as is discussed here a hitting of "rock bottom" which will create a change in the selfishness that led our partners along the paths they traveled.
But - rest assured that you yourself continue to have my admiration for your patience and fortitude.
#TeamGordie
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
) he returns to his native persona of Senor Alonso Quixano who regrets his previous madness and at one point promises to burn his books on chivalry. I find these days that I am more Quixano than Quixote.
