I personally think the advice by that site is not worth the page it's written on. For a SSM situation, you need real help. But that can't happen until both of you are invested in the MR. You can't get invested in the MR until she wants you back and that you have made serious changes.
If pursuing her brings you to a place where she wants to invest in the MR, then I am all for it. It will likely inflame already existing issues.
You cannot show true affection and have it received as such until the other person is ready. Trying to short circuit that just results in more disrespect. Sometimes you need to leave things alone and take the time and patience to ground yourself. She needs to get beyond her anger for her to even 'hear' you, forget 'listen' to you.
True affection after going NC/Dark just looks psychotic. How can you go from that to being affectionate? There are lots of steps in between that need to happen. You can't skip those.
Your game plan should be NC/Dark, GAL, and working on yourself with an IC for SSM. You need to leave her alone for her to figure herself out.
