Gordie #20: patiently living my life

[Gordie]

SBJ Gerda Clyde SJohn6

Thanks for the encouragement

I do not have a lot to report

Things are chugging along

Thinking of DNJ and trying to see things as they are neither better nor worse than reality



Positives

W no long talking about d for last 6 months

W no longer interested in OMs

W spending less time with her single friends but still some time

W has moved from thinking of herself 100 percent of the time to maybe 80 percent of the time meaning she sometimes will now ask me about my day or what is going on in my life maybe once or twice a week as opposed to just talking about herself

We are friendly with one another

W says she is working on her issues and takes some responsibility in the breakdown of the M where before it was all my fault

W is no longer secretive with phone and computer



Negatives

We have no physical relationship and sleep separately

W is still competitive with me and sometimes feels the need to pump herself up and put me down

W still has a hard time communicating directly about her wants and needs and will use the kids to do so

We still have very little family time meaning when I am not working and with kids she goes off and does her own thing



So am patiently living my life

Yes I do hope she will rejoin me fully one day

But she is no longer running away

Still trying to keep expectstions at zero

She could keep moving towards me

Or she could cycle the other way like Cali warned



W birthday was low key

She wanted to spend the day by herself

And then had a family dinner

And a small gift she really liked

Afterwards she asked to spend some time with me

And we talked and went grocery shopping

All advice welcome