joejoe, thank you for posting. I have read your thread in piecing and so I will post to you there!

I'm sorry it has taken so long to post. As I have said before, while I enjoy reading/posting here, I also recognize that it can keep me held back a bit. I do still frequent here several times a week and follow many of you. My strongest advice to all of you in the throws of it, would be to challenge yourselves to actually follow the advice. The most simple, yet hardest thing to do! I read a lot of excuses and justifications, but remember it only keeps you stuck. You really have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to GAL, 180, and let them go.

I am not sure what to update with. Most days I go about my routines and the "drama" of my sitch has faded. I had to see XOW at a kids event recently, and that was a strange and slightly surreal experience. These are the kids milestones that we had planned (or assumed) we would all share together over the years. It's hard to share much because her XH reads here and my H could potentially. I will say, I am starting to pity her more, because of the choices she made, how much she has lost, and her overall character. Not sure how much self awareness she has, but I personally would not want to show up at these events knowing that I was a sleazy OW and ruined my Rs with friends (that were also present there) .... so yeah, obvi I still have the bitterness ...

Things with H are okay. Not much new to report. He is very helpful and supportive of our home and family, more so than a lot of my friends partners. I also have noticed how much he listens and hears me now compared to pre-BD. When I tell him something I don't agree with or need, he listens, validates makes the adjustment. Honestly, even without this site, he is better at following the rules than I have ever been. I cannot lie and say that I have fully forgiven him and that my heart is healed. I do see more so now tho, that those answers are within me. I have a lot of work to do.

Most of my days are filled with the same; work, kids activities, time with family and friends, and trying to carve out my own time. I feel like I am still looking for something, but I don't know what. I am trying to get better at healthy activities that facilitate soul searching, as opposed to the same habits and then negative thinking, ie "you should do more of this, or less of this, or this isn't good enough, etc." I often think I am my own worst enemy!

Please feel free to comment or ask questions. I will work on a better response time! Joejoe, I will get back to you on your thread today :-)

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela