Some on here can't be challenged, only accepted. You I can rely on.
I know what you are saying and it's not in a simple choice of words, it's much more. It's a change of heart. IMO
For some reason, I feel like there is a missing piece. Am I forgetting something or is it just more of the same? I enjoy my solo bedroom. I appreciate the respect that is now extended.
I know it is the allusion of action. The more you try, the less it works. Indifference is a key part of DB.
Well I think what is missing is that she may still be holding on to her WW daydream and fantasy. I saw that in my sitch, where my W, despite her actions, was still wanting to hold fast to that WW fantasy. In mid Feb, when we were at a marriage retreat (I think she agreed to go in order to be able to say we tried), she rebelled against the MR despite the retreat having an affect on her. It was Christian-based, and prior to her waywardness she had been a devout Christian.
It was there that I really felt her heart starting to change. The Lord works in very mysterious ways and we even had some adversity happen while we were there that helped bring us closer together. But at lunch, on the Saturday of the retreat, she rebelled verbally against the MR one last time. This is documented in my threads.
This is why I always say believe NOTHING they say, whether it be positive OR negative. I see so many here say "Oh, my marriage is over because she said blah blah blah." or "My marriage is saved because she said blah blah blah!" The truth is that sitches do not turn around because of words, they turn around due to action.
I chose my words carefully, that "I think you are on your way to R". Not because of anything you've posted that she has said, it is due to her actions. With words she insisted she was moving out 5/18. In actions it is nearly 7/18 and she is still there, with no apparent activity towards changing that!
In March, when I looked back and realized my W had made no effort to move forward with getting a job and moving out since the middle of Januray, that is when I started thinking that there was a possibility that the retreat, the MC, and my GAL, 180ing and detaching was having an affect. Read my threads and you will see I struggled MIGHTILY. I initiated R talks. I snooped. I was terrible at DBing until late Feb/early March. But once I started detaching and differentiating well, the effect happen fairly quickly.
So yes keep up the GAL, 180s, and detachment. Through that be that spouse only an absolute fool would leave.
There will be things missing for quite a while. My W still isn't as affectionate as she was a year ago, but she is moving in that direction.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
