JustSad, thanks for your response! It's so nice to know someone else feels the same way. I will try to post on your thread soon if I haven't already. Everything's kind of a blur lately!
After I posted earlier my husband called and then sent a text saying we need to talk urgently. He was at the dealer of my favorite car company and said he's going to lease my dream car and then in a year, when my current car lease ends, he's going to give me my dream car and then he'll get his dream car. In other words, he can't afford his dream car at this time so he's getting mine and then next year when he has more money presumably he'll get the car that he wants. He kept calling me asking about colors and options. He was happy and excited. I expressed my happiness about having this car in the future because it's made in my favorite country and it's not a car I could ever get on my own. Then at the end he was telling me how much the monthly lease costs and said hopefully he'll continue to cover the cost even after he gets another car for himself next year but if he can't afford the full cost of my car he'll ask if I can cover $x amount of dollars per month and I said that's ok.
I have no idea what's going on. I'm sure no one else here could possibly know either. Maybe he's still planning to file for divorce and he figured he'll settle for car #2 for one year and the easiest way to get what he wants is to shift that car over to me later, so none of this is a sign that he cares about me or wants to reconcile. When I look at the overall shift in his behavior since April however this is just one of many changes. I guess I'll know more when he supposedly comes for a week at the end of next week. If that happens and goes well then maybe I'll have more to report. I don't have confidence that my husband wants to fix our marriage and is willing to work for it, but I do have confidence now that I know how to communicate in a way that invokes a positive response from my husband. This is a new skill that I didn't have before. Now I know being independent, not asking unnecessary questions, sounding upbeat and positive even when things are difficult (like when we were sick these past weeks), and being more concise and decisive when we talk works. I wish I would have learned how to communicate this way years ago but I hope I can continue to improve in the future.
