Fmly1st, I've been going through this for a few years and I've been physically ill and mentally and physically exhausted as well. It's good you are investigating where your wife is going when she goes out and verifying for yourself that she's having an affair because it will give you the upper hand and help you to decide what you want to do. It may not end her affair if she knows that you know but it will spoil some of the fun. There are so many books and resources out there that say an affair doesn't have to mean the end of a marriage. If you can have some patience and let the affair end on its own then maybe you and your wife can truly fix everything and be even better than before. There are many schools of thought about affairs - some might say they have zero tolerance and good for them for moving on so quickly and easily. If you love your wife though and want to save your marriage then hopefully with patience you'll have that chance. It's great you and your wife still live together and have a counseling appointment (sorry I guess you're not American so I'm spelling it wrong). Maybe your situation will turn around faster than expected. I hope you can let us know how the counseling appointment goes.
