With all due respect to your friend, this is a load of crap. If your H wants a D, he should get one. His bad behavior is his own choice, and is not caused by you. He is not a 3 year-old who threw a tantrum because you took his toy truck. He is (supposed to be) a mature grown-up, responsible for his own actions.
If he was not your friend you look up to, I would have suggested that his opinion that you should give your husband an easy D because that is the only way to stop his anger as thinly disguised threat.
This is exactly why you need to detach. You need to be able to say (and mean it) that H can get Divorce any time. You want him to be happy with or without you, you respect his decision to be free, but it does not change your decision on what terms to D. You have kids to take care of.
