Now that I've stopped cooking and grocery shopping for W, she's been quick to start doing those things for herself. I think my feeling is mostly jealousy, as I have been cooking for her for years, and now that I've stopped, she shows me she is perfectly capable of doing what I did for her, but she rarely did that for me. She seems to be cooking more food than she could eat herself. I've been wondering if I should just start eating the food she is cooking now too.
Of course she is perfectly capable. Don't fall into the trap of looking for quid pro quo. When your R is good, it looks petty and ungenerous. When your R is in the gutter is simply laughable. Cook your stuff and let her cook hers. The less you share at this stage, the better.
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W is as angry at my mom as she is at me, if not more.
Don't pay attention.
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I told W that today, and she got angry, because about 7 months ago she told my mom she didn't want her watching our son by herself anymore.
What reason did she give? If she is that concerned for your son's well-being, she knows where to find him.
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Anything my W doesn't blame me directly for in our relationship, she blames my mom for raising me to be how I am.
Again, don't pay attention. She is at a phase where she needs to spew out every possible reason to justify her own behavior. This is not a reflection of you, it is a reflection of her. Paying attention to such BS is completely unwarranted. Don't even answer to such talk.
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I just feel my anger and resentment building more and more the longer W stays in our house. I have the bedroom now but the rest of the house is a dump now that I've stopped cleaning it. I admit I wanted my W to feel some shame and discomfort by sleeping on the couch herself, but I sense that it hasn't phased her a bit.
Take care of your job interview above all. Try to not get distracted.
It looks like there is a lot of negative pressure in your house. Avoid confrontation. If she refuses to take care of stuff, don't fall to her level as part of some pissing contest. Do what you need to do. If the house needs cleaning - clean it. Your kid lives there after all.
