Feeling very low and hopeless today. One of our family friend who I look up to and respect spoke to me today in length about the sitch. WAH had confided in him earlier and this friend had tried to counsel but to no avail. Our friend says that I should give H the D he wants and stop fighting, he says everyone sees it has been over for a while but you not wanting to give in is bringing up the defensive anger in H and making things worse for all of you. Let him separate, go to mediation with an objective to settle so WAH gets what he needs and is out of your life. He can have the children to a certain extent but you need to let him go and have his D. He thinks I being passive towards this is causing more damage, and says if there should have been a change it should have happened by now. He think if WAH comes around it will take a year or more but since D is a pre-requisite for him I should settle through mediation and be done. This seems so final to me, WAH is all upbeat about the upcoming mediation appointment. Everyone who knows the sitch feels I have been fighting a lost cause. I know I am not detached, I cant help but feel such a failure for not being able to save my children their home and their family. It is so hard to continue DBing with mediation right round the corner, there really seems to be no time. I know he has to go thru his own journey and stay separate to realize the truth if he realizes it but the D seems to finalize before he can even live alone for a couple of months.
