Can I really do this #3

[Dtrmned]

Been home for a couple of hours already. Did some work, got in a run and now just on my computer. W hasn't said a word about the email regarding the early termination on the home. Don't know if she is waiting until later, but her usual MO is that the later it gets, the more she fades into pain land, heating pad and done for the day which means no interaction.

I am the rock and the lighthouse for my family. My children, my W and myself. I have much work to do and making sure my kids are ok are #1. Good convo with the company that is making me an offer today, we pretty much worked things out in theory, now we are just putting it in writing. Good opportunity if it could work. Presently I think it is a pipe dream due to the fact that W has nowhere to go. I couldn't afford 2 households and I will not live 90 minutes away from my children. Still contemplating how to approach this when things are truly in writing. Since the 4th is next week, I think I can stretch it out through that week and tell them I would give them a firm answer by the 9th, but that still doesn't give much time.

Nothing I can do except try to put it together and then have the conversation. I don't believe there is any way that my W can afford or get approved to live anywhere presently. Unemployed and no income. Even with a starter job, there is no history so I don't know how that would work. Not my problem on most levels, but it is when it concerns our children.

Another small conversation with my D today. She was pleasant and good. Giving her her space as well, not pushing, but showing interest and listening to her and shutting up! (BIG problem for me is the throwing up of words on people).

Presently, everyone is away in their little spaces as we are getting ready for dinner. It is very hot so no one eats that much when it is so hot. Good for the weight loss I guess!! Drinking tons of water. Feel ok today. Sunday was hard with the D dropping her harsh words but I know she is just lashing out as she doesn't know how to handle this (thanks Sandi!). Yesterday just in my head a lot, but held up ok when I got home. Better today even though I posted a lot working through this stuff and getting some feedback always helps.

I am committed more than ever to detachment. My W will do what she is going to do anyway. I can only control my actions and reactions.

Again (saying this to myself more than anyone) I am the rock and the lighthouse for my family. I will be here no matter what for my children, my wife and myself. I will never give up!