The beginning of a long and painful journey

[Rawpain]

Thanks. She has just texted and said she is boarding and can she see the kids tonight for a few hours. I agreed for the kids as they miss there mum. Plus it will give me time to get cleaned up from work.
When I saw her name come up on my phone my stomache went into knots. I dont know why. Fear of her! Hurt with knowing that I am going to have to see and interact with her? Worried that I will say the wrong thing? Hope that she has had an epiphany- fat chance!
I shaved my designer stubble off as a 180 for me. I groomed it every 2days to be neat. I even took the sideburns off wich I have not done since high school. I feel so naked on my face and really do not think I like it. I will stick with it though and see how I get on.