I personally feel that you shouldn't involve your child with someone unless you are SURE that this is a relationship leading to something long term (i.e. Marriage). Maybe an introduction once or twice at this stage just to make sure he is not a jerk with your kid, but otherwise- no. Your child doesn't need the heartache of loss if this relationship doesn't last. Maybe he feels the same? Ask him.
I would not waste my time in a relationship unless i thought there was long term potential. I am looking for a blending of families. Not 2 people living separatly and dating every other weekend. I made this very clear in the beginning and he indicated that he is looking for similar, or i would have never continued dating him.
I would rather be by myself then have a casual relationship without a blending of families.
I waited 6 months before introducing him to son and that was in a group setting.
They had 1 other short walk together and then another group setting.
I have my son all week and every other weekend. So my son and i come as a package. I like it when his daughtwr is around. And i understand that not every guy wamts to deal with another mans kid. But like i said, i dont want to date someone if they feel like that.
Is 10 months too early to determine this? I would think at this point he would want to start forming a relationship withbmy som amd i or else it camt possobly develop going on the way it is.
I am definitly shutting down and unable to open up my "heart" with him. Which makes it impossible to develop a healthy relationship. I need to make sure all my decsiobs keep my son first.
Heres the funny thing. Men tend to pursue womem that shut down or are not available. I had so many single guy friends of friends that wanted to date me when i was still obsessed with ex. Sometimes i hate men for this. (No offense to the guys here)
Is 10 months too early to determine this? I would think at this point he would want to start forming a relationship withbmy som amd i or else it camt possobly develop going on the way it is.
Depending on the amount of time they have spent together I would think he would want to spend time together as a potential family doing things. So I would agree.
I automatically assume that when I am dating woman with children that it would be a package deal.
Every man is different but I guess you will find out what his intentions are.
My EW introduced my girls to her BF last week and she made some comment to me that she doubted he would be coming to their basketball or soccer games to watch them play because they aren't his kids. My initial reaction was WTF????? If he is really into you and loves you then he should want to be a part of their lives.
It was mind blowing........but again, what are the intentions????
are you spending time with his daughter but he isn't spending time with your son?
I do believe it is time for a direct talk with him. I tend to drop the hints, and get upset when I don't get the response I want, then I realize, I just need to be very direct with my communication.
Maybe the two of you just need to get on the same page.
I think 10 months is a little early for playing happy families. Perhaps you two need more dating time FIRST.
You are seeking a life partner not just a family.
And guys ask you out or show interest when you are unavailable because you are unavailable. They don't really want a gf. So they aren't truly prospects.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You might be right vanilla. It might be too early, but then why am i giving him exclusivity?
Where i live, there are tons of single guys. I have talked to male patients close to my age that tell me how hard it is to find a normal woman. I am relatively normal, so am seen as a good catch for someone my age.
We both agreed that it is hard to get to know someone when you are dating a lot of people at the same time. But maybe i was wrong. I was coming from a mindset of loyalty and relationships when i met him.
Maybe i should have just dated more and built friendships? I would not sleep with someone unless i thought long term potential and loyalty though.
I dont know. Maybe im rushing things.
I kind of feel how joe does though. Or thats the kind of guy i would want.
There's a DIFFERENCE between someone being potential relationship material (obviously if you're interested in a relationship you should weed out the losers and the Love Avoidants and such) and being IN a relationship that has PROGRESSED to the point where you really believe you will end up married or permanent life partners.
Many people date a likely prospect for a couple of years before figuring out they're not really meant to marry. That's what the whole dating process is about - getting to know the other person. Most people would suggest you should date someone for at least two years before marrying - that's because it can take that long to really get to know someone.
Read Ginger's old posts - she was dating a guy she was really into, involved her daughter after a few months, thought everything was great - then he bailed on the relationship and her daughter really missed him. You don't want your son to suffer unnecessary pain of loss of a relationship with this guy. So unless you're sure that this is definitely heading towards a long term relationship I would wait.
But ask HIM - he might tell you he feels the way I do - and that would be a good and responsible thing. Or he might tell you he's not so sure your relationship will make it at all - at least you'd have an answer then.
Kml, thats a good point. Maybe im rushing things, and i certainly dont want son to be hurt or feel rejection if things dont work out.
I dont think he is thinking that way though. He offered to babysit for me 4 to 5 months in when i had an difficult situation. In the beginning he also talked about setting up video games systems up for him to play. I never took him up on it cause i thought it was too early.
So im just worried that his true colors are showing now. That he is not who he seemed like in the beginning. That i saw something thats not really there, bit i wanted it to be there.
This was my issue with ex. Ex avoided spending time with me and son. Its one thing i do not want to repeat.
So what if hes like that too? I want to know and avoid that now. And i know he has no obligation torwards my son. But i dont want to waste time on someone that does not like my son either.
If i wait another year and i dont like their relationship, thats a lot of time i wasted on someone.
