I just pity her. I wish she was real. Not even for my own sake, but for hers, and S3.
I wish she knew LOVE. not limerence. I wish she knew dedication. Not deception.
I truly loved her with all my heart, and i may never find that again, but to know she has never TRULY loved, breaks my heart. What kind of life is that?
I hope you heal Hunny, i am here if you need help, but i will not be abused and taken advantage of.
Thank you for bearing the burden of childbirth. You really did an amazing job, ill never EVER not be impressed and awed by how well you handled that.
One day maybe, but not now. Not after this. I called you my Helen of Troy, my beauty so fine, i would have started wars over you. I wish i knew then the war was in your heart, in your soul. I wish i could have saved you, helped you. You said once i made you feel safe. Because you are always running, each new "love" is a pit stop, a breif reprive from that constant race to fill the hole in you. I am so sorry. I am literally crying as i type this, because my heart truly does break for you.
I love you. Goodbye my Love, My Helen of Troy. I Miss you Hunny, but its time to go. its time to heal.
Goodbye.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Some interesting updates. Normally I pick up S3 at my mother-in-law's house. I asked wife today if I was picking him up there as normal and she said that she could drop him off with me at my house. I told her that due to the restraining order that would not work as nobody else would be home. my sister-in-law has reported to me before that there is definitely some tension between wife and mother-in-law and I think that wife may have actually gotten told not to stay there anymore. however her mother's house is her listed address on all of the divorce paperwork and it says that if there is a change of residence you need to report it to the court and the other party immediately and if you do not it is perjury. I told her she could drop him off at my brother's house Which she was not pleased about but eventually did because she had no other options. she told both my sister-in-law and myself that S3 had been at her mother's house all day but her father-in-law was leaving and that's why he couldn't be picked up there. Once my son was dropped off at my brother's I went there and he proceeded to tell me that he spent the entire day yesterday at om's house, that he slept at OMS house and that om was the one who watched him all day well wife was working. she was late and dropping him off at my brother's house because she had to go from her work 2 OMS house And then from there to my brothers. she was acting very erratic and off-balance today and my sister-in-law said that's how she was in person when she was dropping off S3. she has a history of using her mother and discarding her when she is not of use she did it early on in our relationship. As I have not been snooping I don't know exactly what went wrong over at her mother's house between her and her mother but something is definitely off. I think she is finally starting to experience some loss and repercussions of using people.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
So glad you now have a lawyer! I would be mad if OM was baby sitting spouse. In my decree, if someone else baby sits more then a few hours, we have to offer that time to other parent. I like this because it's a way for me to know more about what is going on when son is not with me.
You night want to google this, but there is a lot of similarities between the "love bombing" that occurs in relationships like yours and tactics used by cult leaders. If your vulnerable to that it helps to understand the hows and warning signs.
ME: Good morning, pickup at 5pm at your mothers house as usual tonight?
WW: Good Morning, I can drop him off to you at 5 if you'd like.
ME: Ill have to see if anybody else will be around, ill let you know. Otherwise ill just come get him from your stepdad like usual.
ME: I just checked, My roommate wont be home, so we'll have to pick up at your moms.
WW: My mom will be at work and there might not be anyone else there. He will be fine walking to the door/ to you inside if i drop him off, we dont have to see each-other.
ME: What is your step dad working? Your boyfriend wont be around to bring him out? is he working or something?
WW: Stop it.
ME: What? it was a legit question.
ME: I cant be within 300ft of you.
WW:The order i have in writing states you cant enter my pace of residence, and can only communicate in writing about S3. That's It.
ME: That is inaccurate. Meeting at my house is not an option today. Im sorry for that. I can meet at your mothers at 5 like we normally would. And i really wasnt trying to be sarcastic about metting up with your boyfrien for pickups or drop offs. He is obviously a big part of S3's life now and if he is able to pick up S3 from school, he can help participate in pickups and drop offs too. I have no hard feelings, and will have no issue meeting with him if thats what we need to do to co parent. I am going for my run now. Let me know what you want to do. Talk to you later.
1.5 hrs later - ME: Or you could just drop him off at my brothers house.
WW: If i have to i will....
ME: Why cant we just do pickup at your moms like usual?
WW: Speaking of your brother, do they have a friend named Oliva or something? S3 has been asking to go to "Olivia's House" He says its far away and stuff?
WW: I will Just drop him off at your brothers house...
ME: Oliva is 5. She is Sister-In-Law's friends, daughter. They play together. Ill them to expect you at 5pm.
WW: That is cute. Is he with your brother and his wife a lot?
ME: He is with all 3 of us alot.
WW: HE talks a lot about being with them without you. I was just curious. Also, i will need to swing by my house on my way to your brothers, as that is out of the way for me and I hadnt planned on going there today. I might be a bit past 5.
ME: Well if hes with them i usually am too.
Me: Ok.
WW: Still going to double check and see if anyone will be home at my house.
--------------------------------- After Drop off:
ME: Wait, if your step dad was leaving before 5pm, and you get out of work at 4pm and home at 4:30, where was S3 all day? Who was he with?
ME: Also, whoever packed his bag forgot his lunch box, shoes, and school folder. Please drop those off at school tomorrow or have them dropped off by whoever packed his bag. ------------------------------------------------------ During this time SIL was also talking to her about drop off arrangements. SHe accused me of not being flexible with the scheduling, and that i was being stubborn about 5pm. She NEVER ONCE suggested a different time for me to go to her Mother house. Because she wasn't there, and wouldn't be, she was lying to my sister in law, like SIL Wouldn't show me exactly what was said.... We both found it odd she was dodging the question about why we couldnt just meet at her moms as usual. As i said in previous post, i think her and her mom had a blow out and she may not be living there anymore. Which is a big no-no for the courts. Yet again she blew her own cover with her inability to keep her lies in order.
When i saw S3, at my brothers, he told me he had been at OM's house all weekend and slept there Sat-Sun, and that OM had watched him all day Sunday while WW was at work.
I am getting the lawyer involved in this ASAP. Not for COntact with OM, that has been happening for ages, but if she is living there now and didnt tell anyone thats very illegal, i deserve to know where my son is being kept.
----------------------------------- Meanwhile she had asked my sister in law about the check for the Dr. At this point, in the last 5 days she has said all of the following regarding this check for Dr.
1.) I already wrote it, its in the mail to you OrangeK. 2.) I havent written it yet, i am waiting on checks. 3.) Oh i had written it to you OrangeK then you told me you are paying back SIL with it, so ill just write it to her. Yesterday. 4.) How much was that check for again? I need to write it for SIL. 5.) She gave it to SIL yesterday dated for 6/21.
She cant keep her stories straight.
-------------------------
Does this seem like things are unraveling for her? She was a bit frantic and erratic yesterday, and here are some things i think are wearing on her.
1.) she hasn't started her new training program at work yet for some reason, she was supposed to start in Jan.
2.) She blew up her car's motor and has been driving OM's truck for well over a month now.
3.) She seems to have caused a rift between her mother/stepdad and her. She may not even be living there now.
4.) SIL said she looked tired, and like she was "trying very hard to keep up the act" when she saw WW yesterday.
5.) She is forgetting things like Daycare stuff, items for S3's backpack and whatnot more frequently.
Friday Night i drove up north, and parked at my favorite Mountain (5,280ft), slept for an hour, and started hiking at 1:30am. I got to the summit at 4:15am, and sat and watched the most amazing, beautiful sunrise i have EVER Seen. I wish i could post a photo!!
Then Saturday (after a 3 hr nap, post hiking) i randomly met a pretty cool woman, we had coffee, chatted and exchanged numbers.
Sat Night my SIL had her 30th Bday party, which was great, and Yesterday i got ready to move in with Brother and SIL. Hung out with S3 all afternoon. Great weekend.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
ME: Did his Lunchbox and School Folder get left at your house? it was not in his bag yesterday and i messaged WW about it and she hasnt answered me. If other people are packing S3's bag for her, they need to know what goes in it.
MIL: They were taken out when he want to FIL's on Saturday as they werent needed, then when she was rushing to get to your brothers house they were overlooked in error. She dropped them off this morning, nobody else packed his school bag. It was Just an oversight.
I Replied to group text with WW and MIL.
ME: Oh, S3 told me that OM had watched him all day while WW was at work, and that he fed him dinner, and that "Mama got me from OM's house and brought me to Aunties" which is fine. So thats why i mentioned someone else packing his bag. Otherwise i dont see why it would have been a problem for me to pick him up at your house, MIL, In (hometown).
Id just like us all to be on the same page in regards to communication and plans for S3, and that we arent ignoring eachother in communications about him. I want this all to run as smoothly as possible. Have a good day.
WW: I took the stuff out of his bag on Saturday Morning before visiting my Dad. I forgot to put things back in his bag when i stopped at the condo yesterday before rushing to your brothers They are all back at school and his lunchbox if full.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
OK, this is dangerous stuff. My advice is to try to be as concise and only give need to know information. You worked the "S3 told me he was at OM's house all day yesterday" into the text. I still sense you being a tad passive-aggressive.
Look, after the RO is lifted and you two are D'd go to town. But right now you have to walk on eggshells. Bend over backwards if you have to. Truth will come out, you don't have to try and root it out.
I still feel she is going to try to goad you into a meltdown. I think her end game is a) to get as much custody as she can (including and up to full custodY) and b) therefore as much child support as she can.
Your interactions with her between now and final rulings on this stuff will be key to those rulings. Don't focus at all on her, just stay focused on you and your precious little S.
She sounds like a bridge burner so yes it wouldn't be surprising if her and her mom had a falling out. At all.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
ME: Oh, S3 told me that OM had watched him all day while WW was at work, and that he fed him dinner, and that "Mama got me from OM's house and brought me to Aunties" which is fine. So thats why i mentioned someone else packing his bag. Otherwise i dont see why it would have been a problem for me to pick him up at your house, MIL, In (hometown).
Id just like us all to be on the same page in regards to communication and plans for S3, and that we arent ignoring eachother in communications about him. I want this all to run as smoothly as possible. Have a good day.
WW: I took the stuff out of his bag on Saturday Morning before visiting my Dad. I forgot to put things back in his bag when i stopped at the condo yesterday before rushing to your brothers They are all back at school and his lunchbox if full. _____________________
Also, am I missing a question?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
