Can I really do this #3

[SteveLW]

JS, calm down. Your D is more upset with the sitch with your MR, than with you. Kids lash out at what they can, when they can't lash out at what they are really mad at. This is why abused kids bully other kids, because they can't bully the abusive parent.

Your D is in pain because of your MR, and she lashes out at you because it lets her think she is dealing with it.

And to answer your question: "Does this mean she is just trying to solidify Plan A? Does this mean she is just trying anything she can to prod me into blowing up and justifying her decision Or is it that she is just so selfish that she doesn't care who gets hurt along the way?"

Answers: maybe, yes, and yes.

But also she wants YOU to do the heavy lifting. Look at the sitches on this board. So many of the WASs just sit on their hands and want the LBS to do the work of actually Ding. This is classic WAS behavior. I've read a lot of books since my BD and trust me, limbo is the state that WASs operate in. So many of them are afraid to move forward and afraid to go back, so they just sit where they are at.