I also wouldn't mind some pointers on where I am holding on, I think I know and listed a few, but would appreciate your thoughts. Again, my counselor brought up some of these things to work on. She is with me and not pursuing, but wants me to open a window or "reel her in" as she says.
Exactly. Remember the counselor is probably classically trained. "You must reconnect." "You must communicate." "You must share your feelings."
A lot of counselors deal with marriages where both spouses want to improve things. That isn't your sitch. The reason you came to DBing is because traditional methods didn't work. Most of us did. We tried to do the usual early in our sitch and things got worse.
So my suggestion would be to use this counselor for IC, not MC. If you really want to get good help hire a DB coach. MWD's site has resources on DB coaches she endorses. Traditional MC advice will not work here because it pursues and applies pressure.
That is my 2 cents, for what it is worth. And yes you hit on the points I would have made for how you are still holding on.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
