Blacmac- time to detatch- time to stop following her on FB. The time is now to focus on you and our S. Be the best you can - You do not require any updates on her- focus on you.
I don't follow her on FB. I'm detaching. But I keep getting this stuff from friends/family that know we have a divorce pending. They all say I should go for custody.
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BM, I feel like you've ignored a lot of advice on this board. I really really really wish you had consulted the board before sending that text.
I haven't been ignoring it. Not at all. But things tend to get really heated quickly, and I don't usually have time to consult the board, although I wish that I could.
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You had gone along doing pretty well recently. This is a setback. Your W can bring, unfortunately, anyone she wants (short of a sexual offender) to the pickups. It [censored], but it is the way that it is.
Yes, it does. Very much. It just bugs me that I can't even be around my own family without someone being at MY apartment to watch.
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So start focusing on what you CAN control. You. I know it is hard. I struggled with control issues early in my sitch. The sooner you realize you have zero control over her the sooner you'll be able to truly detach. And trust me, your W knows that you aren't detached and that every thing she does to bug you will, in fact, bug you. Detachment isn't something you pretend, is something you live. And W's have a way of knowing when you are pretending.
I know this is good advice. Thank you. Man, I was doing so good this past week. The pics she posted of her humping some random dude's leg at this concert really kind of sent me over. Especially knowing that she doesn't want me to go for custody.
It's just...embarrassing. One day our S may see those pics. Everyone else has (since most of our families are still mutual friends even though she has me blocked...and I have her blocked...).
All of this while she keeps asking people if I'm okay.
This just hurts a lot.
I expect her to act out. But I didn't expect her to make herself a spectacle knowing she has a S that looks up to her.
