W rushing thru D, help

[Cory09]

Thank-you very much for your compassion and help...

[Gordie]

Also my b d came right after our twentieth anniversary blow out

And all the declarations of love and gratitude

So I feel your pain

[ovrrnbw]

Gordie, I really liked your post. It hit home for me. Hopefully it does for Cory too.

I've been putting off "letting her go". I am on the verge of making things real for her by separating our joint account and by taking "her"/"our" car that she doesn't want to pay for anymore.

It's easy to be afraid of rocking the boat, but the WW sure has few of those fears.

[Cory09]

Man, the darkness, pain, and loneliness this weekend has been unbearable. I literally can't stop balling thinking that in 24 hours, I'll be signing the divorce papers to end easily the best 12 years of my life with the women who I deeply adore and would die for..I find some solace in knowing that friends and family know that I'm a good man, treated her amazingly, was a good/caring husband and she will eventually hit bottom and regret this decision...I know this is her internal journey and has nothing to do with me even though that is where her initial anger was directed with full force..I just can't stop ruminating on all of the loss and devastation of how my life has been completely turned upside down..Summer has always been our greatest time of the year but now I can't get out from this victim feeling..Just the endless dialogue of thoughts and emotions that continually go through my mind not allowing me a moment of peace..I know I have to face the grief head-on and not try to make it go away but when the sadness is relentless for the last 6 weeks, it is human nature to want some relief..I know it sounds like depression but I have a good support group of family, therapist, and the wonderfully compassionate people on this board so I trust all of them when they say that happiness will return at some point in the future...I've always lived by the motto that good things happen to good people and if you work hard you will be rewarded but I'm a good person and I worked diligently at being a good husband but this isn't the reward I was looking for...I was looking to grow old with the love of my life enjoying life's little moments and appreciating the day-to-day mundane experiences of living your life with someone special..Except now, I'm heading into the final 1/3rd of my life broken with a failed marriage...I know this is a whoa-is-me post but I just gotta get all of these negative feelings out..So sorry for the rant:-(

[HelenaJ]

Sorry you're having a bad day. The sunshine and a walk always helps me at least a little even on the worst days.

[SteveLW]

Walk! Helena nailed it. Do not sit and stew in your own juices. Go a park and walk. Walk walk walk.

Walking will always help get you in a better frame of mind.

[Gordie]

Cory

Feel free to vent

We have felt that pain and darkness

Surround yourself with those who love you

Do not be afraid to ask for help

Live one day at a time one hour or one moment as you need

Do not sit and stew alone

Do not focus on tomorrow or the future

Today has enough trouble of its own

[ovrrnbw]

Cory09

She is only thinking of herself right now

You cannot control her

And cannot do anything to make her hear you

You can only control you

I followed the advice here to generally avoid all R discussions

And that was great advice

But only you know you and your situation

When w would say she loves me

At some point it hurt too much

I told her stop saying that

She insisted

If you loved me you would not treat me like do do

We got in a big fight

All of my anger spilled out

It was healthy for me after bottling it up for so long

And it did help to turn things around for me

She dropped her OM and the divorce

It is in the somewhere in the book under after LRT and ultimatums

You can only do and say these things when you really mean them

And are willing to follow through

Gordie, what was your ultimatum that came out of the fight?

[Gordie]

Over rainbow

I do not want to hijack Cory

So will respond on your thread

[Cory09]

Wife is so cold and business-like with this D signing...Just straight to the facts of where we meet etc.,..It's almost like she isn't human anymore, just a robot focused on rolling path of destruction..I know I keep saying this but it is amazing how someone you thought loved,cherished, and accepted me forever could turn so quickly into something this evil without even trying to work anything out in the M...She never complained to her best friends, to me, to anybody,that she was unhappy at all in our marriage,etc...It's so disappointing that such a beautiful thing has to end to abruptly without warning..I know you think there had to be warning signs, I promise you there were NONE that anybody, not just myself, anybody saw..

Any thoughts on how to keep it together during the D signing and try to act confident and content? I know I sound like a weak man with no balls but that is inside on the outside I portray the opposite except when I'm with my wife, who I opened up everything too..Please send prayers today...thx