So, after the last post, I found the threads on validation. I'm going to start working on this as I can. Right now, I feel like things are still just rocketing towards the bottom of the volcano at a really high rate of speed.
I really don't know how to read her lately enough to know if anything at all is working. Mostly because she absolutely refuses to talk to me or be anywhere near me without a buffer person.
It's really like she's TRYING to make things harder.
Any advice I can get on, well, pretty much any way to turn this around would be amazing. I'm still working on me, still trying to be positive and upbeat (although having her friends at my house, who were literally lying about me to people, really upset me a lot today), still trying to GAL and do what I can to make any progress at all...and it feels like no matter what I do, it is only making everything worse.
I talked to an old friend of ours today (who isn't friends with W now, but used to be). Back when W and this friend used to talk about their H's, apparently my W said that she always knew she would hurt me like this because I'm just too good.
I can't figure that out. It's almost like she planned all along to leave me at some point, and that it's like she's too broken to actually handle having a normal, healthy R. I just don't get her at all anymore.
