Still doing my morning routine, going to the gym, and job searching. Today is my S last exam. It has been a very tough year for him. To celebrate I was given a used Dell monitor from a friend (in good condition). S currently has a large monitor and a small monitor to play his games- we will replace this small monitor with this big monitor. I'm sure he will like that! I have 2 interviews today- not really great opportunities but I will investigate with an open mind. This weekend S and I plan on seeing a movie. Other than that-there has been NC with W and i will continue to ride although my ribs are still sore but healing.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
update- Before my interview I drove my S to school for his last exam. We said a prayer together then off he went. I had over an hour and a half before my 1st interview. Funny thing was the first interview was in the vicinity of W workplace- I thought why don't I just drive by maybe just to get a glimpse to see if she walks in looking good or just walking in in a depressed mood. then i asked myself what do I have to gain from this? I figured there was nothing to gain. I said a prayer to God to give me the strength to give Him control and let Him deal with her while I focus on my interviews. First job interview went pretty good because the GM saw me as a potential fit for 2 positions she is hiring for. One in customer service and the other one in sales. Not sure how to take this because it is in a totally new field. I am a quick learner so if I set my mind to it -it will be completed. Second interview was a total waste of time. the guy could barely speak English and was trying to sell me on this fantastic opportunity. Pretty much dodo to door sales on a purely commission basis. I got the crap out of there. In the afternoon I took my dog to the dog park and then made dinner and ate with S. S wanted to play with his buddies so I went on an 1 and a half hour bike ride.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
I thought why don't I just drive by maybe just to get a glimpse to see if she walks in looking good or just walking in in a depressed mood. then i asked myself what do I have to gain from this? I figured there was nothing to gain.
You're 100% right about there being nothing to gain. I struggled with this type of thing too. My W moved just a few blocks away, and it was way too easy to look over to see if she or anyone else was at her place when I drove by. I also had toi give myself the "What good will this do me?" pep talk a few times. I have to drive by several times a day, and am now to the point that I never look and I don't even think of glancing over most of the time...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
hey V- I never intended to be a stalker just was thinking how is she holding up? The reason I say that is -so far because S is been permanently living with me. She has not seen r spoke to him in quite awhile. She has never asked me for updates. For all I know she may even think S failed one of his classes. I know she texts him but he says he has never responded. I feel it has got to be getting to her at some point. I know for me- without S - I have no reason to get up and my sole purpose aside from being the best me is to provide the best for my S. It would absolutely KILL me if he was not around.
At some point S may soften his stance and I will support him but it has to be doing something to her do you not think?
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
I remember in my 20s, after my ex-gf and I broke up, she moved into a new apartment complex. There were many times that I would drive a few miles out of my way to drive by her apartment. It was a very difficult thing to break myself of especially since it was a legit way to drive home from work.
LW and mtb, you both are right though. There is nothing to gain by it. Most of the time I did it I felt like crap about myself afterwards.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
bump-can I get an opinion from a WAW/WW my intent is not to mind read but just to understand. Thanks.
just was thinking how is she holding up? The reason I say that is -so far because S is been permanently living with me. She has not seen r spoke to him in quite awhile. She has never asked me for updates. For all I know she may even think S failed one of his classes. I know she texts him but he says he has never responded. I feel it has got to be getting to her at some point. I know for me- without S - I have no reason to get up and my sole purpose aside from being the best me is to provide the best for my S. It would absolutely KILL me if he was not around.
At some point S may soften his stance and I will support him but it has to be doing something to her do you not think?
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
bump-can I get an opinion from a WAW/WW my intent is not to mind read but just to understand. Thanks.
just was thinking how is she holding up? The reason I say that is -so far because S is been permanently living with me. She has not seen r spoke to him in quite awhile. She has never asked me for updates. For all I know she may even think S failed one of his classes. I know she texts him but he says he has never responded. I feel it has got to be getting to her at some point. I know for me- without S - I have no reason to get up and my sole purpose aside from being the best me is to provide the best for my S. It would absolutely KILL me if he was not around.
At some point S may soften his stance and I will support him but it has to be doing something to her do you not think?
Are you asking why your W does not appear to have the same level of interest/concerns for S as you do?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
