We've both read the book at the beginning of the BD. At that time, W was less resistant to work together. After reading the book, I asked her what her main LL is. She doesn't want to reveal that to me. In on fallout, she mentioned that her main LL is "Words of Affirmation". She is not very self-confident, and when facing complements, she would reject it. This is rather typical in east Asian culture. Since then, I paid special attention to always compliment her when there is a chance. But it's probably too oblivious to her what I am doing. She also said that her "love tank" is not only empty but has gone. So there is nowhere to fill... That really made me desperate.
On the validation
If that particular case, if I validate her feelings, then I am doing the opposite of "Words of Affirmation", no? In my past experience with her, she will often times say something very negative about herself, in the hope (implicitly or subconsciously) that I will say something opposite. So it's really different. And I am not sure the perfect approach here, with her type of personality.
H: 31 W:31 M: 6 T: 10 S: 4 BD: 12/2017 In house separation: 12/2017
