The 37 rules can be implemented now. You don't have to wait till bomb drop. I will be glad to help, if you'll tell me which rules you aren't sure about.
The ones that I was really struggling with were the ones about having an awakening & getting out. Without the bomb drop, i'm not sure about just taking off without an explanation when GAL. Also, i know i'm going to have issues with putting up a front of "everything is fine". I just know that i'll crack at times and let my emotions show, just like i did yesterday.
Are you referring to Rule #17?
17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.
What do you mean taking off and not giving an explanation about GAL? Which rule are you talking about?
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Now, i can count on one hand the number of times she's initiated sex in the last 3 years. I wasn't expecting it, and even though I really wanted to say "no thanks" I caved. We didn't have intercourse, but performed an "oral" inspection on each other.
If the WW feels her H is pulling away, she'll use sex to secure her hold on him. Although it sounds very contradictive to the fact she is not currently interested in having a better MR, it is a form of manipulation. Some WW's are very controlling.
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Also, i know i'm going to have issues with putting up a front of "everything is fine". I just know that i'll crack at times and let my emotions show, just like i did yesterday.
Here is the point of that rule. A lot of LBS's think if their partner sees how heartbroken or upset the LBS is feeling, it will somehow affect the wayward spouse's feelings of compassion. It doesn't. In fact, it makes WW's treat the H worse. A wayward W is attracted to the person they see as self confident, not succumbing to weak emotions, independent and enjoying life.....and not being co-dependent on their partner. They see the emotional partner as being weak. They wayward W respects strength.
You are not expect to feel no emotions. I am saying to not break down in front of your W & kids! Go to the bathroom and bury your head in a stack of towels to cry, but do it privately. A family is suppose to look up to its leader, that means they expect him to be stronger and capable of handling trying times. If they see their leader falling apart, the kids feel insecure and the W loses more respect for him.
You have four kids watching how their leader will deal with this crisis. It will definitely affect what kind of spouse they will be one day , and what kind of person they M.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
